You shat yourself at graduation?

When companies start telling you no for simple requests, just tell them they can cancel it or you can get your credit card company to do it.

I was at a family gathering and my grandfather was in the middle of something. He asked for my help and turns out “Apple support” on the phone was trying to get him to pay some overdue bills with giftcards.

I joked around a bit with the guy and he started to threaten me, ha.

“It’s raining cats and dogs.”

Somehow, heavy rain is represented by a downpour of household animals.