This does sound like she has depression, and needs to address that before working on the relationship.

If it was not so obvious, I would have said she’s checked out of the relationship, but reading the whole post, I don’t think that’s it, it’s more like she’s just checked out of life in general, so I will hope she gets help and finds her energy and libido and joy again.

Then they can work out a schedule to balance the effort. Some of our “rules” are:

If I cook and you eat, you clean, and vice versa.

We make the bed together.

If the toilet paper runs out replace it!

If the dogs or cats need water, fill it!

Outdoors I do everything (garden, weeding, flowerbeds out front) except mowing and edging, husband does those.

I make all design decisions for the house because I have a better eye, husband makes all vacation plans because he’s good at that.

I’m sure there’s a million ways to set things up to leverage individual strengths and talents and still be balanced enough but none will work without commitment from both people, you do have to want it.

A few things help me.

Short commute, so no extra time spent getting to and from the office, and an electric bike that I enjoy commuting on.

Coffee and breakfast at my desk at work, not before going in.

Help at home - husband cleans after supper, and we have a biweekly cleaning lady so I’m not spending all weekend just catching up, can have at least a day to actually relax.

The people I work with are amazing, I like them so much and they like me and each other, it’s a good group.

Taking all my PTO. I do a lot of Fridays off, and usually one solid week off at some point but using them to make short weeks/long weekends feels best to me.

If you really can’t adjust maybe ask about doing the 40 as 4x 10hours not 5x 8?

So pricey I used short ribs instead the last time I made the soup, because it worked out cheaper! I don’t know what is going on but they are. Enjoy it while you can, all the odds and ends that used to be cheap are not anymore, here.

Oxtail soup is amazing. I make it with a whole bottle of wine, and never eat it the first day. Unfortunately oxtail is very expensive here right now.

Do you eat meat? Big hunk o’ pork is one of the favorite meals of my kids. Salt the meat then broil or sear it in a pan. Put it in the slow cooker. Use broth, water, or wine to deglaze the pan and pour that over the meat.

Cut a couple of garlic heads in half horizontally, you don’t have to peel them. Toss them in.

Pour in the rest of the bottle of wine or box of broth, some orange juice is good too, lime if you didn’t have wine. Or some vinegar works if you don’t have lime. If you have cilantro put the stems in, if you don’t, don’t worry about it.

Close and cook on low all day. We usually have it with rice and black beans the first day, it’s good in tortillas with salsa, good on nachos, good in enchiladas, it’s just good

Magnesium L-Threonate was the migraine trigger. Supposed to help prevent them, but did the exact opposite. I do actually use a very small amount of “calcium and magnesium citrate with vitamin D3” as part of a bladder health mix I made with mostly D-Mannose. No problem with that one.

But I’m still not convinced on adding it to water, they’d buy some crappy industrial byproduct most likely if adding it

Warm and Cool

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter

Dark and Light

Opposites on color wheel

Neutrals

Pretty and Ugly

ETA I think my color vision is at least average, though my vision in general is not great.

Tried taking magnesium and discovered magnesium supplements give me migraines so hard no from me. I do grow vegetables in good soil without chemical fertilizer, so hopefully get those micronutrients. And we do have hard water where I live, plenty of minerals in it.

Maybe your brain gave your body a hangover, I once got sick from reading a very vivid description of how a sinus infection starts. Like reading it convinced my body it was happening. The only sinus infection I have ever had. Or maybe you were already getting sick so your mind associated the feeling with drinking. Mind and body are so connected.

Hope you are feeling better now.

What? Ours does snore. I never related it to her phenotype (she is a mutt but very pit looking). I agree she doesn’t seem bred for aggression and she isn’t high strung, reasonably relaxed and gentle with the cats, playful and rough with the other dog (they are both pretty young). But she is freakishly strong. Smaller than our other dog but weighs the same, it’s like she is a black hole.