If someone betrays you - you can either be upset at this, feel terrible for a long time
Or you can be thankful for them showing their true colors, thankful for the opportunity to enhance your people-reading skills, i.e. learn how to prevent this better (or identify that it simply happens sometimes, even with good prevention skills), perform the correct consequences (i.e. cutting them out of your life, minimizing your dependence on them), and then move on with the new state of life.
I’m not saying one won’t feel bad at first - but there’s no reason to continue with that past the initial automatic reaction, how fast you can “move on” depends on how good you are at this. After handling the situation properly, there’s no reason to continue to feel bad, feeling bad about it is just a motivator to do something about it, if there’s nothing to do anymore, there’s no reason to feel bad anymore.
You can extend the same line of thinking to literally anything - you get fired from your job, you go hungry, you suffer some debilitating injury/sickness, you get put in a concentration camp due to be executed (“Man’s search for meaning” is an example of this).
Which interpretation is this, and what is the other one?
Somewhat in between, more towards the former I guess?
I wouldn’t say it’s nonsense nor that it should be made fun of, I simply disagree on calling it a “choice”. It’s more like a D&D saving throw, and sometimes the DM just makes it mathematically impossible for you to pass it, but I concede that “choice” is less verbose than that.
I agree that you can change your psychological reaction to everything, and that it’s not easy, but it’s not, like, an API call to a well documented open-source library, and you don’t necessarily have full control over what that change is.
The other interpretation is basically your opinion, but actively dismissing the fact that it’s never not always effortless or painless - I’ve heard that here and there, by people I’m not really fond of.
Yep great examples. And I see a LOT of Lemmy posters just unable to accept any of this. So much doomscrolling and choosing to be pissed/unhappy about every little thing.
If someone betrays you - you can either be upset at this, feel terrible for a long time
Or you can be thankful for them showing their true colors, thankful for the opportunity to enhance your people-reading skills, i.e. learn how to prevent this better (or identify that it simply happens sometimes, even with good prevention skills), perform the correct consequences (i.e. cutting them out of your life, minimizing your dependence on them), and then move on with the new state of life.
I’m not saying one won’t feel bad at first - but there’s no reason to continue with that past the initial automatic reaction, how fast you can “move on” depends on how good you are at this. After handling the situation properly, there’s no reason to continue to feel bad, feeling bad about it is just a motivator to do something about it, if there’s nothing to do anymore, there’s no reason to feel bad anymore.
You can extend the same line of thinking to literally anything - you get fired from your job, you go hungry, you suffer some debilitating injury/sickness, you get put in a concentration camp due to be executed (“Man’s search for meaning” is an example of this).
Which interpretation is this, and what is the other one?
Somewhat in between, more towards the former I guess?
I wouldn’t say it’s nonsense nor that it should be made fun of, I simply disagree on calling it a “choice”. It’s more like a D&D saving throw, and sometimes the DM just makes it mathematically impossible for you to pass it, but I concede that “choice” is less verbose than that.
I agree that you can change your psychological reaction to everything, and that it’s not easy, but it’s not, like, an API call to a well documented open-source library, and you don’t necessarily have full control over what that change is.
The other interpretation is basically your opinion, but actively dismissing the fact that it’s
nevernot always effortless or painless - I’ve heard that here and there, by people I’m not really fond of.Yep great examples. And I see a LOT of Lemmy posters just unable to accept any of this. So much doomscrolling and choosing to be pissed/unhappy about every little thing.